Cats Gone Batty
by Vampire Louis
Summary: Cats Gone Batty - a one shot nightmare of a fic. (Not in my normal style) Parody of Marvel Comics... don't ask, just read, be afraid and review please? (Humor!) (bits of shounen-ai: AxY; OxK; SxY?)


Title: Cats gone Batty

Rated: Pg13 (???)

Warnings: Umm strongly implied shounen-ai (AxY)

Legal stuff: Well... I think it's obvious but I'll state it anyway. I don't own Weiss so umm... please don't sue me? I'm poor... seriously...

Special Thanks to: My editor for all of his hard work and to all of my readers. You guys are what truly make writing worth the effort. Thank you. And of course a special thanx goes out to Shaeric Draconis and those of the AYYA resistance! You guys are the best! ^_^ Vive La Resistance! AYYA!

*****

Aya woke up. Or so he thought. Letting his lavender eyes slowly move around to capture the settings in order to process it all in his head; he realized he was in an entirely different place. The bed was different. The room was different. In fact, everything about the place he found himself in was different. Had he been kidnapped? Had he been taken in by Kritiker? What happened and why was he here... in this gothic styled room? Probably only time or a Kritiker agent would tell. Though not having to look very far as normal, an agent of Kritiker happen to throw the door open and burst in. Fortunately, or unfortunately as the case may be, that agent was a member of Weiss and that member of Weiss was Yohji. In a very strange looking outfit. Not that Yohji's outfits weren't always strange... this one was -really- strange. Black... rubber? Was Yohji really wearing an all black rubber outfit? Aya coughed and Yohji seemed to ...snap... into action. 

"Good! You're awake! Tokyo is in danger ... Again!" That was the most unreasonably imbecilic speech Aya had ever heard leaving Yohji's lips. He wondered if Yohji knew and understood how moronic he seemed just then. "Get dressed! We have no time to loose! Hope you don't mind the new modifications made to your outfit..." 

Aya reached out and caught the material that had been flying at his head and when he unfolded the bits and pieces of cloth, horror took over as the dominant expression on his face. The outfit was... was...

"There is no way in hell I'm wearing-" He never got to finish for Yohji immediately interrupted him.

"No time to argue! Come! I mean, let's go!" Aya just stared at him, "Here, I'll help you!"

"No."

Five minutes later Aya was actually wearing the damned costume and happen to be following Yohji through the gothic manor, all the while plotting the blond's dark and lacerating demise. He wondered how much pain the human body could tolerate then he wondered how much he -really- cared. The heals of their boots clicked against the stone floor and soon enough Aya found himself being shoved into a closet.

"What the-?!" He started then glared at Yohji, "We are not going to-" 

"If you'll be quiet I can get us out of this closet." 

"I thought you were already- " Yohji covered his mouth with one hand then pushed on the shelves that held the silver to reveal... a passage way. 

Yohji released him and, with a loud groan, Aya followed the taller man down many flights of stairs and through a few booby traps all before they reached the main part of a very large cave, which was decked out in... stuff. Equipment of all kinds cluttered the cave; most of which he had no clue as to what they did... not that he really cared. Aya being Aya just wanted out of the most ridiculous outfit he had ever worn. If you could call the bits of straps and leather an outfit. The thing reminded him more of a-

"Robin!" Yohji yelled at Aya.

"What did you call-" Aya started again but once more was cut off by Yohji... he was going to hurt him if he kept that up.

"They're here!"

"Who-"

"Thank gawd you're both here!"

Aya gritted his teeth and looked over to where Yohji was babbling and announcing from. Ken and Omi were standing next to Yohji and a lot of equipment which lay in the general vicinity of the cave at Aya's right. Omi was in some strange costume that could have only been made of blue and red spandex, or fabric identical to it, but Ken... Ken was actually dressed normally. Aya was suddenly very envious of the soccer playing bastard.

"What's the matter with Tokyo now?" Omi questioned and Yohji smiled.

"Glad you asked super boy! Take a look at the Danger Vision!" 

The whole group looked at a tiny TV on a larger piece of equipment at the same time. There was some cheesy wave effect before it focused in on-

"Schwartz!" Ken gasped as he glanced at Yohji, "What have they been planing now, those foul and evil villains!"

"Schwartz, as we speak, have been plotting and are in the beginning process of creating a bomb that will destroy all the anime in the world!" A long paused echoed shortly after the words had been spoken while the group turned looked at each other. Yohji, naturally, was the first to speak up.

"Superman..." The oldest blinked at Ken, "Why aren't you dressed properly?"

Ken could only groan and shake his head at first, "No phone booths anywhere on the way here..."

The two looked in Omi's direction, "What?" The boy blinked.

"How did you get dressed?"

"I changed in my room."

"He doesn't use a phone booth like normal super heroes... but what did you expect from a side kick?"

"Ah, good point." Yohji nodded then thought for a moment before his expression changed into one that made him appear as if he just came up with an idea. Unfortunately... he did, "Super boy! Hold up your cape and provide Superman the privacy space he needs to get dressed with..." 

Omi lifted an eyebrow then lowered his head and gripped either side of his cape, opening it up so that Ken had a curtain to change behind. The dark haired man quickly dashed behind the youngest and began to get dressed as Aya just watched all of them. This was... very.... odd. He made a mental note to see Manx as soon as possible and inform her that the other three members of Weiss have completely gone off their rockers. Deciding that it was best not to say anything now, Aya remained quiet with the exception of the tapping from his heeled boot.

"ACK!" Ken's suddenly exclamation startled Aya into almost falling over. His lavender eyes darted over to where he could see Ken frowning and holding up a blue leotard, "It has a run in it!" The soccer player whined then paused before glancing at Omi once more, "Superboy! Give me you suit!"

"What?!" Omi dropped his cape and turned around to look at the boxer clad Ken.

"You heard me! I need your suit... "

"No!"

"This is no time to argue Superboy! Duty calls!"

"But..."

"Now!"

Omi sighed and Aya turned away from the two of them. When he finally looked back at the group he just stared and said nothing. Omi was standing in a red speedo, red booties and a red cape; the poor kid's face was just as red as the rest of his outfit... well... at least he matched... or something. Ken, on the other hand, was wearing a blue leotard that was -obviously-, and painfully, too small for him under his normal red speedo, red booties and red cape. 

"Think of it this way, Superboy..." Yohji flashed the younger blond a grin, "At least now you'll have more mobility." No one said a word and so the cave fell into a very awkward silence until one of the walls exploded and all four of them took to the ground for cover. When the dust and falling debris finally cleared all the members of Schwartz were standing in the gapping whole they had made in the side of the cave.

Brad Crawford stopped and stared blankly once the others rose to their feet and in the same instant, Nagi instantly broke into tears. Farfarello looked as if he was going to be sick leaving Schuldig was the only one to actually comment.

"What's your sign." The redhead of the other team winked at Yohji who could do nothing more then grin.

"We're leaving... now!" Brad shook his head mumbling something like "should have seen this coming..." under his breath.

"Pisces, actually." Yohji proudly announced then slowly followed Schuldig out of the cave with the rest of Schwartz.

Once the others had departed Ken took it upon himself to sigh and look at Omi, "Come... let me get you out of those clothes..."

"But Ken we just-" 

"To the closet Superboy!" Ken cut the protesting Omi off then began to march towards the stairs.

It was then that Aya sat up in bed breathing heavily with sweat collecting on his brow from the nightmare he had just encountered. He closed his eyes and took in small bursts of air, hoping that his heart would stop racing so fast. It wasn't until he heard a murmur next to him that he stole a glimpse of Yohji who was curled up with a little Robin plushie safely tucked into his arms. The redhead made a quick scan of the room before vigilantly removing the Robin plushie from Yohji's arms and promptly throwing it across the room to where it would not be found until morning... or much later if he could help it.

fin


End file.
